Shit

She broke up with me.
Simple as that, it's over.
I think the biggest thing I feel right now is disappointment. I felt that there was so much potential in what we had, but Sophie felt that she just couldn't deal with a relationship right now, so that potential may never be realised. That fucking sucks.
I don't really see a relationship as stressfull, but she does, and that's what matters.
Neither of us wanted to lose each other, so we are going to remain good friends, and most of the dynamics of the relationship will remain the same (phonecalls, seeing each other etc), it's just that now there won't be the intimacy (and I suppose the intensity too). I hope I can adjust to that soon, and without any backlash.
So yeah, I'm fucking single again, and probably will be for some time. And that fucking sucks.

Life

Life is wierd. In general, but especially at the moment.
This should probably be one of the worst weeks of my life, and despite feeling tired, sick and depressed, I can't really say that the week, as a whole, was completely terrible. I find this weird because I usually find life to work in defined up and down periods, but this week has been a strange blend of shit and greatness. So Monday sucked, and so did Tuesday (the day Sophie and I "talked"), and Wednesday I spent alone with my thoughts, and went from feeling positive about the emotional progress I had been making, to feeling sick and depressed as the potential negatives moved closer to my forethought. I had to work Thursday, and despite the circumstances, it was a fucking good day. Alex was in a great mood, all the jobs were easy, and we got a tip that paid for probably the best calamari and chips I've ever had. We ate it with a view of the ocean too.
Then I got paid alot more than I expected.
I then met up with Boggle in the city for beer, and to discuss our women issues (he's in a similar circumstance, only his happened earlier, and is more negative). We had lots of cheap beer, met some of Boggle's tafe mates, and also one random who had some good advice. Then we met up with Jon, and more merriment was had.
A wonderful day!
Then we went to Ruby Rabbit...
Maybe the biggest kick in the pants I could have possibly received.
Then we get home early morning, but I only sleep for maybe 3 hours because I have to get up and contact as many pawn shops as I can on the off chance that they will get some of goods. At about 11:30am I decide I'd contacted enough, and went to bed. I am awoken an hour later by a phone call from Alex asking me to work that afternoon and evening; and that he'd be around in 5 minutes to pick me up.
Great, what a great day it would be.
So I work, work, work, and I feel sick and depressed all day, and have a gross lunch to boot. Life sucks, right?
Well, we then head off to our evening job (sans Alex), and it takes for ever.
BUT, we find a deposit envelope jammed in the safe. We grab it, divide it amongst the three of us (Jason, Jose and I), and we each came out $270 better off!
So what the fuck is going on life, are you up or down? Was this a good or a bad week? Or do the goods cancel out the bads, and it becomes just a week?
However, I think because of the magnitude of the bads, and because I do feel like shit, that I must say that it was a shit week.
But I just don't know if I'm in an up or down period right now.
Confused. Really fucking confused actually, but that's not really to do with the "up or down" problem...

Listening to: Traffic noise; some fuckwit stole my mp3 player, remember?

Stolen

As if the week had to get any worse, last night I went out to the city with Jon and Boggle for beers and talk to help clear my mind.
We spent most of the night at The Clare (cheap jugs), and when we were heading up to get dinner we ran into some English backpackers who were looking for a place that played rock music (it was also one of their birthdays), so it being Thursday night, I recommended Ruby Rabbit on Oxford St. So we all headed there, and had a great time. I wanted to dance, so I put my bag down nearby.
Big Mistake.
It got stolen. It must have happened when we went to the bar for shots.
So, what did I lose?
My iriver & headphones (total $900 to replace), Jon's mp3 player & headphones ($400), my DS + 3x Games + the SD adaptor ($400), my 3 day old digital camera + media ($530), my sunglasses ($200), and my little bag of tricks which includes my toothbrush, slide whistle, hacky sacks, mouth harp, numerous cables and adaptors, my memory card reader, Jon's book, my leather notepad and heaps of other random shit I can't remember.
It fucking sucks. It really fucking sucks. It's going to be a bitch to replace all that shit.
So I called the police and I sent faxes to most of the pawn shops in desperation, but I don't think it'll help.
I'd really like the bag back, even minus the expensive stuff, because it's the smaller stuff that will be hard to replace.
Fucken sucks.

Not now.

So, despite the ZooBombs being awesome, and the weekend being beautiful, things have fucked up, and I really don't feel like posting right now.

10,000 Days (Wings Pt 2)

Oh my God.
I'm just now listening to the Tool song "10,000 Days (wings Pt 2)" and I just had something close to a religious experience/orgasm.
Seriously.
I was reading the lyrics as the song was playing, and as I came to this point:

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fists at the gates saying:
"I have come home now!
Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father.
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my, give me my wings!"

My eyes closed, my head fell back, my mouth opened, I got goosebumbs all down my face/neck/arms/chest, followed by a hot flush, and I couldn't breath properly. Wow.
Fuck man. I cannot believe this album. I Love you Tool. I fucking Love you.

If you want the lyrics, go here:
http://toolshed.down.net/lyrics/10kdayslyrics.php

Ok, back to the album now. Quiet please.

No Title today, thanks...

So, nothing really happened this week. Well, kinda.
I did finally post Helen's present, and actually, a couple of days after posting it, I get an SMS from her confirming that she'll be over here next month! Woopee! I just hope that she gets the present before she gets here... Simon, you are truly a bum.
But not much else really happened. I went to the Hunter this weekend, but didn't so anything. The family went out for dinner last night to celebrate Mothers day with Ally's family.
But that's really it.
This weekend I'll be heading to Taree to see Sophie (it's been way too long). Can't wait for that. Will be booking the train ticket soon.
Oh, and this Thursday the Zoobombs are playing at the Annandale, so I'll be going to see them coz they rock like crazy motherfuckers.
And that's it I think.
I've been playing a lot of The Secret of Monkey Island on my DS. Thank you ScummDS, you rock my world.
So yeah.

Listening to: Coal Chamber - Chamber Music (Album). Thought I'd relive year 10 with some metal from my youth.

Tool

I'm currently lying in bed listening to 10,000 Days, and I am completely blown away. So much so in fact that I had to roll over, snatch up my phone and make a quick post to my blog. I just needed to let someone know. Tool blow my mind. 10,000 days is fucking brilliant.
Tool, I LOVE you! I really do. Please tour soon. Please.

MC Lars

Dude... MC Lars is a funny motherfucker. He calls his music "Post-Punk Laptop Rap," and it's basically nerd rap. It's fucken great.
Also, to make it just that little bit awesomer, he'll be touring with TZU + Butterfingers very soon! Fucken A!
Will hopefully be gettin tickets this week.
Fucken A.

Listenin to: MC Lars - Space Game (go get it!)

ScummVM DS v0.6

W00t!
ScummVM for DS v0.6 has just been released, and it now supports Supercard SD (the card that I have!), so I can now play all those old LucasArts games on my DS!
I've just loaded Monkey Island 1 & 2 onto it, as well as Beneath a Steel Sky and Flight of The Amazon Queen. Sweet! Unfortunately, because of RAM limitations, it can only play .mid or .wav music types (i.e. no .mp3 or .ogg), so I cannot fit the music onto my 256 MB SD card... bummer. That auction for 3x 1GB SD cards @ $120 is lookin pretty sweet right now...
Anyway. Thought I'd share my nerd joy with you folks.
More info here:
http://scummvm.drunkencoders.com/

Listening to: The Cruel Sea - 4 (a totally awesome instrumental track)

Public Transport

I've just arrived home (Scotland Island) from my weekend out.
Obviously comparing this weekend to last would yield disappointment, but even not doing so, the weekend was less than super tops.
There were just a few disappointments that left it less-than-brilliant.
But anyway, here's a re-cap.
Sophie's graduation was on Friday evening, and we'd arranged to meet each other after she'd gone out to dinner with her friend Alicia and their respective families. I ran out of things to do, so I met her a little early at the restaurant (after everyone had finished their meals). I joined the families for a glass of wine, and it was nice to spend time with them (more so Sophie however).
We ended up heading to The Oaks in Neutral Bay, which was a quaint (albeit large) art deco era pub that I'd never been to before. I'd like to go back, and Ross reckons it's pretty easy to get there from his place, so I reckon we should.
But anyway, we left there about 1am, and I coudn't go back with Soph, so I had to head home. So I only got to see Soph for about 3 hours this week. Sucks. It also cost me about $50 to get home that night. I'm a bit over Scotland Island. If I had my license, life would be easier. I really need to do something about that.
Next day Tristan had invited me to go lawn bowling with his work mates. I was due there at midday, but because of my reliance on public transport, that wasn't entirely possible. Peter dropped me at Mona Vale bus stop at~11:30am, and I found out that it was a 3 hour wait for the bus to Gordon... great. So I decided to get something to eat and go via the city instead. So it took me 2 hours to get there. That sucks. Because I was so late, I couldn't get in on a team. However, I did get a few goes playing on a team that only had 3 people on it. Jon didn't get there until 3:30 maybe. Overall I liked it. In fact, I'd like to do it again.
I had a fair bit to drink, and was feeling a little pissed. Or rather pissed even. To compound this, we went to the Blue Gum afterward. We met up with Ross and Mike (S) there, and Jon, Ross and I went back to Mike's place when everyone else had left.
There we watched the Queens of The Stoneage DVD (Which kicked total ass!), and listened to 10,000 days. Funily enough, Jon didn't at all like 10,000 days when he first listened to it (on his computer), but when we played it at Mike's he thought it was kickass. Actually, the experience was so different for him on Mike's stereo, that he was sure that somehow he'd heard a different album the first time. Weird, but funny.
I ended up staying at Jon's, coz there was a bed there, and I'd had a headache most of the afternoon (funny when the hangover kicks in when your still drinking), and I was buggered.
Today Jon, Luke and I watched Kung Fu Hustle, which was pretty damn funny, and also a few episodes of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, which was fucken hilarious.
And now I'm at home.
So it was a pretty good weekend, but I'm disappointed about not spending much time with Sophie, about having to rely on public transport, and about being to tired.
Tomorrow we are doing a spring clean on the place because the landlord is coming over for an inspection on Tuesday. Whoopee. Gonna be fun.
I'm hoping to work this week, as I need the money. I'm also hopeing to book some driving lessons, and will be posting Helen's present.
Let's see if I can become that better person I've been meaning to become for however many years.
And that's about all on my mind.

Listening to: Opeth - Orchid (album)

Infected Mushroom

So those Infected Mushroom CDs that I ordered a few weeks ago arrived yesterday, and I'm now listening to the the IM The Supervisor CD... kinda getting almost flashbacks to the concert... not quite flashbacks, but when I first heard the title track, I kinda got goosebumps and a slight sense of euphoria... mainly because it was during that particular song (during the concert) that I lost my mind/ability to do shit. Yeah.
I want to see them again. I just hope next time I can remember stuff. Actually, I hope next time I'm able to comprehend what's going on...
But anyway. I like them. Alot.
So tomorrow is Sophie's graduation, so I'm heading out to the city for drinks with her... only, she has to leave Sydney at about 1pm, and is staying at a friends house (with her parents) where I can't stay. Sucks. So we'll see what happens. She's pretty buggered from this new job (it's pretty full on), so I don't know how long she'll be able to stay out for (especially as we're not even heading out until about 10/11pm). Anyway, it will be beyond wonderful to see her again.
On Wednesday I finally received my refund on the (crap) camera I received for Christmas, and as such, I just bought a Canon A700, which looks like a super kickass camera. I love Ebay. Nat was going to sell me one for cost price, but I saw it on Ebay for only $10 more, but including a case, spare battery and a mini tripod (oh and some lense cleaners too). Rocks. Also, it comes with a 2 year warranty too! Sick!
So I'm pretty stoked. Only bummer is that it's a pretty chunky camera (especially compared to the Pentax that it is replacing). I see the extra size as being very much worth it though.
So that's about it. We'll see how the weekend turns out, and you'll hear about it.
Woah. Bit's of the concert are coming back to me. I'm listening to Meduzz now, and I totally remember them playing it. The guitar bit(s) rock(s).

Listening to: Infected Mushroom - IM The Supervisor (Album)

10 000 Days

so I'm FINALLY listening to the new Tool album. I must say I'm impressed. I've just moved into what seems to be a second act (there was a brief interlude, and the music sounds different now). I think I preffered the first act, especially as the track Rosetta Stoned sounds very much like parts of Schism (I think it's Schism, it reminds me very strongly of a particular riff off of Lateralus anyway).
What's up with the Lost Keys (Blame Hofmann) song? Well, not so much the song, but that weird Aussie-esque doctor's voice... not quite Australian, not quite English. Odd. I like the way it leads into Rosetta Stoned though. I quite like the transitions so far. I also like the way that the lyrics are slowing down as the song progresses... considering this was the song I found disappointing because of it sounding a little like Schism, I sure am pointing out alot of cool bits in it... maybe it's just because it's the song I'm listening to right now...
I'm not yet up to that epic, ejaculate-in-your-pants song that the guy at Infected Mushroom told me about... but it isn't 15 minutes long anyway; the last song is only 5 minutes or so. Maybe it's the one before the last track? I dunno. We'll see.
Anyway. The album is tops, and I can only seeing it becoming better with subsequent listens.
Tool: You guys rock my world!

Listening to: Did you read my post above?