Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Jenny's Birthday Hunter Adventure

Yet another weekend spent up at the Hunter.
Only this time it was with Leanne's family. It was Leanne's Mum's (Jenny) birthday last week, and she decided to head up to the Hunter in celebration.
Jenny and Allan hired a cottage at Millbrook Estate, which was very lovely. Not only was it pretty, but the wine was awesome.
Ross may remember it - we went there in the Kombi with Connie and her friend, a thousand moons ago.
We arrived up in the Hunter on Friday night, but didn't do anything interesting (Leanne and I stayed at the Cedar Creek house - Mum came up, but didn't arrive until midnight or so. In fact, we barely saw Mum on the weekend, and Leanne's parents didn't at all. Bit of a shame.
Jenny & Allan came around on Saturday morning, and we drove down to Wollombi in the hopes of visiting the Horse Heaven Gallery. They were meant to be open, but unfortunately they were closed. Which sucked. So we decided to try again the next day.
So we drove up to Stonehurst (Cedar Creek), and tasted their wines. Jenny and Allan bought a case of wine at the 50% off sale (all storm damaged cases are 50% off).
We then drove to Jenny and Allan's place at Millbrook Estate for some more wine tasting.
It was really nice (possibly better than Cedar Creek... shhh...). He makes them all on-site, which is nice in itself. So I bought some wine, and as a birthday gift to Jenny, paid for the bottles she wanted. This totalled over a case between us.
By now I was feeling a little tipsy, and was very keen for lunch, as we all were.
So we drive over to Country Farm Delights in the Hunter Valley gardens. They are now called something different, but it's the same owner, and the food is actually even bigger now. I used to always get their Savoury Mince; two slices of toast, flavoured mince on top. Craving it, I ordered it this time. Only now it's 4 slices of toast, mince and a ton of bacon. Check it out. Crazy awesome.
So we were all so full afterward, and not looking forward to dinner.
Oh yes, dinner. We planned to go to The Australia Hotel in Cessnock (more specifically, the Swill & Grill within The Australia Hotel), but, as has never happened to me before, they were booked out. I blame the concert. So that was a bit of a shame. Instead we went to Harrigan's Irish Pub. I'm very glad that Leanne and I decided to share dinner, because there was altogether too much food.
In the mean time, Leanne's brother, Aaron, and his girlfriend, Kate, were heading up to meet us.
We met them at my house, and bummed around there for a little bit (I showed them the place), then went to meet Jenny and Allan, and head off to Harrigan's for dinner. You already know that we ate there. It was good. We were full.
Afterward we went back to Jenny and Allan's place and had cheese and dessert wine. Mmmmmm.
Then Aaron, Kate, Leanne and I went back to mine and bummed around again - we were too tired to drink, and I had a headache from drinking that day anyway.
Earlier in the day, Philippa from Cedar Creek told us of the Wollombi Ball that was on that night - and we had all intentions on going - only after Harrigan's we were so full and tired, and it was already 9:30pm, and it was so far away... so we didn't. Shame. It would have been good.
So, Saturday night wasn't the event we thought it would be, but it was fun nonetheless. Unfortunately, Aaron had to be in Sydney by 1pm, so he left around 10am, so we didn't get to do anything with him on Sunday. Another shame.
But Jenny and Allan came over, and we went back down to Wollombi in the hopes that Horse Heaven was open. Wasn't. Bitch.
So we drive back to mine, and were side-tracked by Lavender Gate Farm; a lovely little café on the way home. We popped in there for a light lunch, and ended up getting a lot more than expected.
We ordered a pizza and a mezze platter, and it was plenty. Unfortunately (so many unfortunates...), they burnt it, but bless them, they didn't charge us for it. Plus I get a locals discount of 10% off. Great days.
Jenny and Allan headed back home after that, but Leanne and I stayed up at Cedar Creek and waited for Mum and Pete/Talan. They had to come up to drop Pete/Talan off at College, so we went out to dinner with them, and Pete/Talan's friend Sharon. We went to the Swill & Grill. Good food. So full.
We then had to drive to Maitland to drop them off, and then back to Cedar Creek to pack, and then back to Carlingford, and then Mum had to drive back to Newport. Poor dear.
Me being the big old nerd that I am, decided to map the way from Tocal (Pete/Talan's college) back to Cedar Creek. I really wanted to do it from Cedar Creek to Sydney, but the GPS reception on my phone is so poor, that I have to hold it up to the window the whole time, and couldn't be fucked doing that for a further hour-and-a-half. What's groovy about my phone is that I can export my journeys to Google Earth. So I did as such and had a good ole gander at the journey. I need to look into the ways it can be represented though.
Anyhow.
So. That was my weekend.
I was so fucked Monday morning, that I took the day off, and ended up getting that much needed haircut (those following my Jaiku stream would already know this). There are some photos here, if you want to check them out. It's hot. I also posted to the Haiku channel about it here.
And I think that's it.
Have fun, and keep it real.

Listening to: Cradle of Filth - Thornography (Album - super hot metal. The caffeine injection I just had helps with the awesome)

USB Charger Not So Dodgy After All

I just tried plugging the USB phone charger that I bought off of eBay a little while ago into the powered USB Hub on my monitor at work, and it charges successfully!
Woohoo!
So, it seems that standard USB ports don't offer enough amperage. Strangely though, my wall charger is 800mA (USB is 500mA), but I have a 1000mA wall adaptor (that provides a USB port), and when I plugged in the USB charger, it didn't charge my phone. Mysterious.
But I'm happy, because now I have a charger at work without having to rummage under my desk to plug it in. Happy days.
But of course now that I've bought a mobile charger (big-ass battery), so it's not so urgent now. anyway.
I ramble.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Best Half an Hour of My Life.

Holy cow.
First, Josh shows me the drunk guy with itchy nuts video, and as if that wasn't enough, Josh then pulls out a mutated double banana. As soon as I get the chance, I'm posting the photos on Flickr.
Stay tuned for updates.
Holy cow.
EDIT: Here are the photos.

Listening to: Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows - Eldorado (strangely upbeat song by them/him/her/it - it was originally a poem by Edgar Allan Poe)

Itchy DWI Video | clipaday

Itchy DWI Video
This is freakin funny.
Can I... Can I scratch my nuts?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Howling Music

Simon and I are listening to a song called "Just Kissed My Baby" off the compilation album DJ-Kicks: Daddy G and there is a dog across the street HOWLING in time to it - and adding a wonderfully creepy component to an otherwise funky song.

My Cadaver is Worth More Than Simon's!

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

These Guys Are A Lot More Interesting.


These Guys Are A Lot More Interesting.
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

The next band opening for Blonde Redhead. Much better than the previous. 2 chicks and a guy. That last song was a bit short though. Or was there just a long break and then a reprise? Either way, they're pretty good.

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Not a Very Interesting Band.


Not a Very Interesting Band.
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

These guys are opening for Blonde Redhead at The Metro Theatre in Sydney, Australia.

They aren't very interesting.

I don't know their name.

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Blonde Redhead Concert TONIGHT!

Simon and I are going to see Blonde Redhead tonight at the Metro!

YAY!

I'm so excited! They're one of my favourite bands!

Also, there is a metal guy at work who's going to see them. I don't know him very well, but he is VERY into his music (so much so that when he is listening to a CD at work he leans the album cover up against the front of his computer screen, behind the keyboard.)

So yay! for Blonde Redhead!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Bored and Sick of Work

Man. I'm so over TC. I'm sick of it all. The people, the work, everything.
Definitely time for a new job.

OLPC Brings Porn To The Third World | TechCrunch

OLPC Brings Porn To The Third World
haha.
Details on One Laptop Per Child here.

The Cross and The Hunter

Not a bad weekend.
One of Tristan's mates (Cam) came up from Melbourne for a few days, so the two of them were keen for some time on the town. It also happened to be one of Tristan's acquaintances' birthdays, and she arranged for Tristan + 3 to be on the door of some club in The Cross. So after work I went home, got ready and was dropped off at Tristan & Belinda's by 8:30pm.
We then drove out to Balmain to meet Ross and grab some drinks. The others grabbed some noodles (I'd already eaten) before we went to The London for some Golden Ale. Ross & Cam also lost at pool. Cam seems a good bloke. Awesome tattoos, and good taste in metal. One of his friends knows Devin Townsend from Strapping Young Lad (and many other projects). Fucken awesome.
So, after pool and drinks, we caught the ferry to Darling Harbour, and couldn't help but stop at the Squire's Brewhouse. I had some IPA, but shortly moved onto Scotch & Coke.
If you want, you can follow the night's progress on Jaiku to the left.
Anyway.
After those drinks we decided to head to the cross. Got a cab over. We weren't immediately allowed in because the three others were wearing sneakers. Actually, that wasn't entirely the reason, coz there were plenty of people in there wearing sneakers, we just weren't cool enough. But Tristan called his friend, and she came out and let us in.
The Cross is a funny place. Full of little bars that are full of people who are full of themselves. The place really wasn't that much different from any other place I've been to - no real reason to keep it elite.
Anyway.
The brother of Tristan's friend was mental for Jaegerbombs, and was up for a challenge, so he bought me one. Unfortunately, he'd been drinking for a fair bit longer than me, and was kicked out before I could return the favour. I feel a little bad, but I honestly don't think he'll remember anyway.
So we stayed at that bar for a few hours. I got nicely toasted. A little while after that I got fucking wankered.
We skipped out sometime around 2am maybe.
I wanted pizza, but we ended up going to a titty bar. Was kinda cool - I like tits after all. They had porn on the TV. We sat around there for a bit. Cam bought a round of beers. We drank the beers - some Coopers flavour I'd not seen before. It tasted like shit. About half way in, we noticed that, in fact, it was non-alcoholic beer. What the fuck! Those wankers! Cam was furious. I tipped mine onto the carpet. We left.
I remember seeing Ross about to hop into a cab, so I joined him. We went to George St. 3 Wise Monkeys was closed. So was some other pub... Cheers maybe? Anyhow. We met up with some guys that went to Ku-ring Gai High. They knew a few people we knew. I drank some more. I was very drunk. I lost at pool.
We then went home. We got a cab back to Ross' and Leanne (bless her) picked me up. I got to bed at 6am.
I woke up at about 1:30pm, drunk. Not just tipsy... drunk. It was embarrassing to have to talk to Leanne's parents when they knew I was drunk. I helped Allan move my old wardobe down to the street coz it was council clean-up. Within 10 minutes some scavenger had come along to pick it up. Allan told Leanne and I that the guy thought he could get $120 for it, when we talked to the guy himself, he said about $30... so I don't know what happened there.
Michael Kirk Patrick is back in Sydney, so he wanted to go out. But because I was still drunk, there was no way in hell that I felt like going to a pub that night.
Leanne's friend, Sal, was up at the Hunter with some friends, so Leanne was keen to go herself, and looking forward to some relaxation after the previous night's drinking, we decided to go up.
So, I felt bad once again not seeing Michael Kirk Patrick, and am determined to meet up with him for dinner some time this week. Maybe Hardeeps... I wonder if he likes Indian? Hardeeps would be good.
So Leanne and I headed up to The Hunter; I sat drunk in the passenger seat, moving between energetic and hung over.
Leanne and I had a lovely night in (we cooked lasagne), and visited Sal et al the next day. We met them at Tambourlaine Winery. I like that Winery. We bought Jenny (Leanne's Mum) a bottle of rasberry liqueur, as it was her birthday the day before. We had lunch at Oscars in the Hunter Valley Gardens. It was all very nice.
When Leanne and I got back to my place, we decided it was so lovely there that we would spend another night (as we are tempted to do every Sunday afternoon). So did.
This meant setting the alarm for 4:10am (to beat the traffic).
We ended up loafing in bed until 4:50/5am, but before leaving to go to Sydney, but I still got into work by 8:15am, so no real drama - and because it's Monday morning, I was the second one in.
I feel tired. I think I will need coffee today.
Josh isn't in yet (will he be in later?) which means I will have a lonely lunch... sucks.
So, there you go.
My weekend, including drunken shenanigans...

IT'S NOT???!!!


vagina
Originally uploaded by I Am Adam

Saturday, July 21, 2007

TA-DAA!

The All Powerful Sorcerer ALCOHOL has turned Simon into a NEWT!

Friday, July 20, 2007

I am at home...

... sitting with cramped legs, crouched too close to the computer, a little sick feeling, wearing a new warm jacket that my Dad bought for me, wasting time on the internet rather than doing the work I have to do, thinking of going to bed and not doing the work I have to do, and my mouse-hand is FUCKING freezing!

I got SERVED!


I got SERVED!
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

How embarrassing!
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Stupid TC

What the hell!?
I get into work this morning, and there is an error report on my desk.
Now, every fucking time I complete a round of editing, there is an error report. No matter how many times I tell people not to change certain things they change.
But you know why? People don't change them. They change because the system changes them. The design of the system is so retarded that it will change the data, and not notify anyone.
This project is fucking doomed. It's fucked and retarded and will never fucking work.
And I'm fucking sick of it.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Benefit of Jaiku

Now that I have a Jaiku account, I can post all the little, dull things to Jaiku, saving the blog for the more interesting posts.
Jaiku will also stream my links from del.icio.us, so keep your eyes on the sidebar to the left for any interesting things I have found on the 'net.

EDIT: The del.icio.us feed doesn't seem to stream very well (it isn't posting the most recent addition), so I will have to play around with it a little more before I can be sure it works.
Also, I've lodged a feature request that the Web Badge show the source of the "presence" so that you can tell between the ones I write, and the ones that are bookmarks, photos, and blog entries.
It seems like a handy tool.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Vegemite


Vegemite
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

I liked the look of this. All packed and piled on the bottom shelves, yet near empty on the top.

Famous!

Wow! Leanne and I are totally famous!
We saw this clip on Rage the other night (Blue Juice - Vitriol):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldBhDmvWFXE
And at 39 seconds (when he is being dragged away by his friends) Leanne and I make an appearance in the background!
It was filmed on this day.

Joined Jaiku

I succumbed.
You can now see my presence on the left-hand side of my page.
It will fill with my Flickr photos, del.icio.us boomarks, and (oddly enough) my Blog posts. It will also fill with any little messages I send it.
Let's see what it's like.

To Jaiku, or not to Jaiku?

Hmmm. I've been looking at Jaiku for a few days now, and am torn whether or not I should join.
I originally saw the idea of mini-blogs with Twitter, and with the recent addition of the Twitter Web Badge for Blogger, I was tempted to use their service. However, I dismissed the idea because I can always just email in little status thingies into my blog from my phone anyway, and it doesn't cost me a cent (whereas I have to send an international SMS for Twitter to work). But since that dismissal, I keep seeing Jaiku around.
Jaiku have a S60 3rd Edition client. This means it will run on my phone and communicate with Jaiku using my phone's Internet connection, rather than international SMS. This also means there is a more powerful interface - it will update my location automatically, display who is online etc, etc all from my phone. Plus Jaiku links with things like del.icio.us and other feeds - so that's cool. So it seems a cool little service.
But I keep thinking... does it do anything that I can't do already?
Is it useful to separate little status messages from my normal Blog?
Do I really want people to know where I am?
Another question is whether the client disables itself when I leave the broadband zone - which would be expensive/annoying if it doesn't.
So. I will decide soon.

With Web 2.0 there seems to be a lot of doubling up of services. Another example of this is Facebook. I already have MySpace, and I'm barely using that anymore anyway (is that what happens when you get a girlfriend?), so will I still care enough about Facebook in 4 months time to justify signing up now.
Plus, I like my Blog - I don't want/need a MySpace Blog, nor a Facebook one - and unless Jaiku integrates well with my existing one, I doubt I will want/need one of theirs, either.
So many questions. I am overwhelmed by Web 2.0

The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face. | Maddox

The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face.
hehe.
I agree, Apple does suck.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Goat's Cheese!


Goat's Cheese!
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

Reduced to $1.00!

Fantastic! We bought three!

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King Billy

So, I'm still not that keen on the Ween song Friends. I understand the whole, pushing the boundaries thing, that I should be open to new genres, but if Cher or the Pet Shop Boys released this song, I'd call it crap. Just because it's Ween doesn't mean I should like it and appreciate it for it's pushing of the "genre-envelope."
That probably doesn't mean I'm going to stop listening to it though.
On the other hand, track 3, King Billy, is fucking awesome. Now THAT is Ween greatness.
I look forward to their new album.

Listening to: Ween - The Friends EP

Skype

I'm going to start leaving the Skype client on my phone running in the background. This means that if anyone wants to call me for free on Skype, I should be online most of the time.
Of course, I don't think I can run the Skype client while I'm outside of 3's Broadband zone - not without it costing me a lot of money, so I can't have it running all the time, but I will try and have it running whenever I can. I will also have to find an option to disable it's connection while I'm roaming (outside of 3's broadband zone). So, early days.
But yes. Y'all can call me for free now!

EDIT: Found out yesterday that Skype auto disables itself when I leave the broadband zone, so I don't have to worry about roaming charges anyway. So, yay!

It's C-C-Cold!

Catching the bus this morning. Allan (Leanne's Dad) has to drop his car off for service, so wasn't able to drive us in - not that it's "us" this morning anyway, as Leanne is now struck down by that same terrible sickness that made me cancel Friday night (sorry guys), as well as take the day off work.
So it's just me on a bus. Luckily it wasn't a long wait, because it was another frozen hose morning. My hands are only just now thawing. I'm wearing my headphones over my beanie.
Cold, mang.

Listening to: Jamiroquai - A Funk Odyssey (I thought I'd warm my bones with FUNK!)
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Friday, July 13, 2007

Fat Kids Rule - 400th Post!

hehe. If you want a whole heap of fun on the internets, do a YouTube search for "Fat Kid"
Fucking awesome.
Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HzS-OdWVpHo
heehee!

Oooh! 400th post! Celebrate!

Friday's Dog/s: International Post About Dogs Week


My grandpuppies
Originally uploaded by MayJ

Simon thinks that these are "just the cutest things!"

I SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL POST ABOUT DOGS WEEK

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thursday's Dog Post: FREAKING HUGE BULL MASTIFF


scary dog
Originally uploaded by Emma<3

Thursday's Dog Post: Proudly supporting the International Post About Dogs Week.

Song of the Moment

Hi folks!
Just decided to add a little bit to the left hand side of the page where I will state my favourite song of the moment. There will be no regularity to updates, but whenever a song enters my head and stays there for a significant amount of time, I will post it to my blog. I may even link to lyrics etc. Won't that be fun?

Listening to: Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows - Résumé...

First one

Woo! I was the first one in at work this morning (at 7:15am). There is usually a woman here who gets in at 7am, but she's on holiday for 5 weeks, so I was the first in. I had to turn the lights on and everything. I'm still the only one here.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

More Canine Capers

In the spirit of International Post About Dogs Week I present to you, avid reader, this video from clipaday:
Backflipping K9

JUST ANNOUNCED: International Post About Dogs Week!

I have just been informed that it is International Post About Dogs Week!!!

So for the duration of the week I will post about dogs at least once a day to show my support for this new and important movement!

I SUPPORT INTERNATIONAL POST ABOUT DOGS WEEK

Canada's Next Top Model

These dogs are vying for the celebrated Cover Model position in the well-known Canadian Dog magazine "Animal Wellness".
The competition is fierce and brutal. All but one of these dogs will fail.
Who do you think will emerge as leader of the pack?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Dog Drinks Slurpee And Goes Mental | clipaday

Dog Drinks Slurpee And Goes Mental
Holy cow. This is awesome. I don't know if it's fake, but it's awesome. Wait for the end.

Oh the silly things I have to do...


Oh the silly things I have to do...
Originally uploaded by oreo.girl

I couldn't resist posting this photo for you guys!

It's a dog that can balance another dog on its head!

It's genius!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Ready to Quit

I am so fucking over the shit that is TCrud.
I am ready to quit.
I am looking for new jobs this week; TCrud can suck my arse.
I'm sick of the shit, I'm sick of the policy changes, I'm sick of the arrogance, I'm sick of the condescension, I'm sick of the old software and I'm sick of it's feeble implementation.
Fuck you, TCrud, I didn't go to Uni for this shit.

Nothing to do

There are no ads to do.

This is good, because it means I can do other shit.
This is bad, because I am running out of other shit to do.

I'm going to read my book (Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts).

(A little note here - if you intend to ever read this book, don't read all of the wikipedia site... shit.)


EDIT:
Out of interest, here is a history of the author:
The fact file on Gregory David Roberts.

Author aged three years six months

* Born June, 1952, Melbourne, Australia
* Founder member, Anarchist People’s Liberation Army, 1969
* Union activist, Builders Labourers Federation, 1972
* Founder member, Australian Independence Movement, United Front Against Fascism, 1973
* Student Leader, Melbourne University, occupation of university Council Chambers, 1974
* Student Leader, Black Week Aboriginal Activism Movement, 1975
* Marriage break-up, loss of daughter in custody dispute, beginning of heroin addiction, 1976
* Armed robberies with toy pistol to support heroin habit, end year 1977
* Capture and imprisonment, 1978; Escape from Maximum Security Pentridge prison, 1980
* Helped by motorcycle gang, BLF Union, & revolutionaries to escape to New Zealand, 1980
* Fight conservation campaign to save sacred Maori mountain, Mount Maungahiha, 1981
* Escape from custody (twice) in New Zealand, end 1981
* Arrive in India, beginning 1982

FROM 1982 to 1990
* Six months in remote Maharashtrian village, learn to speak Marathi language
* Live in Bombay slum, establish and operate free clinic for slum dwellers
* Imprisoned in India for 4 months
* Recruited by Bombay mafia, training in currency crime, gold smuggling, passports
* Gunrunning operation to unit of mujaheddin fighters in Afghanistan
* Wounded in action, evacuated to Pakistan, recover and return to Bombay
* Appointed controller mafia forgery unit, write short stories, published in popular series
* Passport smuggler to Nigeria, Zaire, Iraq, Iran, Mauritius, Sri Lanka
* Establish casting agency for foreign extras in Bollywood movies, act in movies
* Arrive in Germany, work as singer, establish rock band, receive recording contract
* Manhunt by European police, escape custody in Italy & Switzerland, escape to India
* Act in Bollywood movies & TV dramas, establish travel agency in Bombay
* Passport smuggling to Switzerland, Belgium, Holland, Nigeria, Zaire, Mauritius, etc.
* Break with Bombay mafia council, freelance drug smuggling missions to Europe

FROM 1990 to 2004

Photo by Christopher Cox 2004 * Captured Frankfurt, 1990, imprisoned in Preungesheim prison with terrorists, 1990-91
* Teach myself to read & write German, win concessions, extradited to Australia, end 1991
* 2 years solitary confinement, 4 years mainstream prison in Australia, begin novel, 1991-97
* Develop philosophical and cosmoogical model, "Resolution Theory"
* Released from prison, begin novel 1997, end parole 2002
* Sell rights Shantaram, in USA (St. Martin’s Press) & UK (TimeWarner Books UK)
* Publish Australian edition of novel, Shantaram, August, 2003
* Tour Australia, New Zealand, Europe, UK, Ireland, Hong Kong during 2004
* Sell movie rights to Johnny Depp, Brad Grey, Graham King, Warner Brothers, October 2004
* Sell Italian Translation rights to Neri Pozza, October 2004
* Begin writing screenplay for movie version of Shantaram, October 2004

On the Origin of Circuits | Damn Interesting

On the Origin of Circuits
Pretty interesting article on adaptive circuitry.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Top News: Zack's Wang!


Saw this in a shop window. Thought it was funny.

R-I-P-P-E-D

Man. I got absolutely ripped at Mickey's last night.
It was sick.

S-T-O-N-E-D

Maaaaaan I got SO FUCKING stoned last night with Mickey and Simon...

It was the best drug experience I've had.
I started hallucinating.
I waved my hands in front of my face and they shimmered and staggered, my interlaced fingers suddenly diaphanous in the light of the bare bulb on the ceiling.
I got stuck for ages with my hands hovering over my face and my elbows stuck out in the air - I couldn't move them and they rested there perfectly cushioned by invisible forces.
Mickey and Simon were kilometres away, but also overwhelmingly close, looming like giants above my head. They sat on the couch and discussed my future like god and the devil, or the two halves of my conscience.
I was pinned on the wall and their couch was lying on the ground. Forever.
We lived in roving boxes.
Spinning planispheres blurred my vision to a hollow rounded point.
I laughed so much I cried and my tears were thick and solid, a tangible paste or goo like honey.
My breathing was going in circles and I could feel my chest slowing down and speeding up, my breath falling behind the physical action of my breathing, like a yoyo trying to catch up with its future self.
I ate handfuls of dorittos at a time.
Everything was square and curved.
Glowing, sparkling, living, shining, squeaking, shaking, roving, squeezing...
My feet got stuck in the concrete of the floor. I couldn't move them and they were sitting there below the floor on an angle even though I was lying down with legs straight out. I was mired, completely, chained and sunken ankles trapped and swallowed, engulfed.
Light above, dark below, laughter in the middle.
I made myself sit up occasionally and pretend that I was capable of passing the orange juice.
I smoked more because it was so awesome.
They were pure weed, and I hardly coughed.
Mickey smoked the cardboard roach.
I like Mickey.
Simon videotaped me talking to Mickey about my breathing.
I had to keep my eyes squeezed to an almost-shut so that I could see them properly, sitting on the couch.
They never moved from the couch.
They talked from a long distance away but I loved them.
Michael K came over for the first time but we weren't sure he was there because he wasn't there for very long, just enough to laugh at us I think. It was a mass hallucination. He never came at all until the second time he came and sat in the King's chair that Mickey keeps in the red multimedia room.
The room was made of smoke.
Simon and Michael talked about geek phone stuff and Mickey and I just drifted off.
This is the most stoned that I have ever been.
I am not telling this story in chronological order.
It was FANTASTIC.
I have never been STONED before man.
My feet were stuck in the gound.
My hands were spinning over my eyes.
My god was a dream.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Better Weather Picture


Better Weather Picture
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

Here is a better picture of the fucking beautiful weather I talked about earlier.

Beautiful Day


Beautiful Day
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

The weather today is fucking perfect.

I wish I could have taken a better picture, but I thought a picture would enhance the post, crappy or otherwise.

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Friday, July 06, 2007

Child of The Night


Child of The Night
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

The city. All blurry from my shaky hands.

I'm such an artíst.

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Leanne Stands On Her Head


Leanne Stands On Her Head
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

And shows us her red tongue.

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A New Dimension


A New Dimension
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

This photo will open a portal to a new dimension.

Don't look at it for too long.

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Woman jailed for testicle attack | BBC News

BBC NEWS | England | Merseyside | Woman jailed for testicle attack
Wowsers.
Crazy, crazy woman.

Gener's Guitar For Sale

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190127712722
Funny description. Wish I had the money. And lived in the States. Well, I suppose I don't want it that bad.

HOLY CRAP

This is THE BEST TOASTED SANDWICH in the world!


The eatery next door to my work sells lots of food that is very tasty and reasonably priced (most things are between $5 and $7).

Today I asked for a smoked salmon and prosciutto sandwich (this being one of the options on the board) but as I watched the waitress put on smoked salmon and bruschetta... so before she toasted it I asked her to add salami to the sandwich.

FREAKING AWESOME!!!

And the salmon was very very fresh. Such a good sandwich!

Best Email Ever

Hunter Valley Flooding

Some of our photos taken after the recent flooding in the Hunter Valley have been uploaded to our Flickr Group: Simon & Leanne's Super Fun Happy Times

Go check them out!

My "job" Pt 2

I'm working day shift! Which means, that I AM actually working :-)

I went to see Steve on Tuesday, showed him the ad that said that we were hired to do day or night shift according to our preferences. I also told him that I would leave if I didn't get day shift. He was a bit annoyed as this wasn't the information that he had told the recruitment agency to advertise (and I also doubt the recruiter had been telling him the truth about the ad) but he was gracious enough, and told me to wait until the afternoon... at which time he told us all that we would all get our initial preferences of day or night!

So yay!

None of my closer friends are doing day shift, but some of them may change. And hey, I don't really care - we'd have to sit at different workstations during the day anyway, and I'm not about to do night shift.

Interestingly enough, I've found out that I work 7.5 hrs during the day while night shift work only 6 hrs and FOR THE SAME AMOUNT OF PAY. Crazy! So essentially I get 7.5 hrs worth of money more than them a week... which is grand.

Chilli Challenge II

So, disappointed with the results of the last Chilli Challenge, but impressed with the taste and size of the meal, Josh and I decided to to a Stagg Combo for lunch yesterday. I stuck with the tried and true Stagg Dynamite and 5-Bean-Mix Combo, but Josh decided to try Stagg with Baked Beans in Ham Sauce (it actually tasted pretty good, and I will have a go sometime soon).
I must say that the after effects were fantastic. Much above what we experienced after the first Chilli Challenge.
Fantastic.
I'm still under the influence.
Leanne loved it.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Ownage

This silly bitch didn't think her get-rich-quick scheme through too well.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a76_1183278403
Owned.

O-oh...

...I just broke the head off a key that was sticking out of a filing cabinet at work...

I haven't told anyone yet. I hit it with my thigh as I walk towards the printer, then smashed it again (clean off) when I walked back...

The bottom of the key is still in the lock.

Damn new glasses disturbing my depth perception.

I'm embarrassed.

RIP Coffee Plunger


RIP Coffee Plunger
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

Farewell, fine plunger. You have been good to us. Unfortunately, your weeping wounds have spelt your end. You were a fine plunger, and your replacement is no competition. In fact, because of your fine sealing ability, we will continue to use your plunger part - in reality it is only your body that has been replaced.
Your spirit will live on.

Skype on my Phone


Skype on my Phone
Originally uploaded by JadeMonkee.

I have just set up Skype on my N95. My phone plan (on 3 Australia) includes 1000 free minutes a month to Skype customers. Awesome. This means I can now call Helen and Jon in the UK for free from my phone. Now if only they lived online...

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Friends EP Gets Better

Phew. It gets better. Track 3 is a fucking cool reggae track.
Again, phew. That tattoo wasn't a mistake.
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Ween Go Gay Disco

Wow. Listening to the new Friends EP by Ween. Only up to the first track. All I can say is: circa 1995 gay disco. Not a good thing.
I'm awfully confused and concerned. I hope it picks up for track two. Well, I suppose "picks up" is a poor term to use, but you know what I mean.
Hmmm.
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A Volcano in the Hunter

The weekend that I was at one point so negative about turned out rather well, actually.
In all, a good amount of people came (Leanne, Mum, Denise, Ben, Carly, Leanne's workmate Nick, and his friend Ben), and there was much merriment. Stonehurst (aka Cedar Creek) are still selling damaged stock at a 50% discount per case - so we ended up all buying cases. Fantastic. We ended up paying about $9.50 a bottle, for wine that should be about $25 a bottle in stores. Fucking awesome.
Nick's friend Ben is a bit of a pothead, and owns a Volcano. A fantastic little device that extracts THC from Marijuana without having to actually smoke it. If you follow the link above you can get an idea of how this wonderful machine works.
Not only is it incredibly easy to "smoke," it's also incredibly efficient. I bought a 50, and we used maybe 1/3 of it between the 7 of us. Fucken A. So I guess this means a few more gatherings are in order.
So the night consisted of wine, weed, music and general shenanigans. All was happy. We bought a fuckload of fish n chips, and Denise brought plenty of munchy food, including awesome cookies (I will attach a pic soon). Ah yes. Fantastic.
Sunday had a lazy beginning, so lazy in fact that we missed the awesome Bacon & Egg roll place in Cessnock - they close at midday on Sundays, as is typical for most places in Cessnock. So we went to The Carousel Cafe instead. Tasty, tasty, tasty. I had another puff on the bag before we went, so my memory is a little hazy and I'm not sure if we paid or not. I hope we did, they're nice people. But they don't have hash browns. The nerve - and a distinct plus for the awesome bacon and egg roll place. But still, for breakfasts, nothing beats the place at Peats Ridge. It's just so hard to time it all right for breakfast.
But yes. After breakfast everyone went their respective ways, and Mum, Leanne and I went back to Cedar Creek. We watched Here Comes Mr Jordan, which was not bad, and then we went home.
The end to a lovely weekend.
Yay!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Bogus chargers

Ah man!
The chargers that I ordered off of ebay arrived last week; one car charger, and one USB charger.
I planned on creating a journey of my way home from Wollombi on Sunday night, but the car charger didn't work (and my battery wouldn't last the journey).
Just now, at work, I noticed that my battery was about to die, so I grabbed my handy-dandy USB charger and plugged it in. A "not-charging" warning showed.
You motherfucker.
Bastard ripped me off.
I have emailed him telling him that they don't work (but doubt I will hear from him - he's no longer a registered user), and will have to wait a few days, then contact PayPal to see if I can get a refund.
Bastard wanker.
And they were handy items, too.
Aside from that, the weekend was awesome. Details soon (when I have some time to type them up).